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vardulon's Journal  All future posts can be read at: http://vardulon.blogspot.com/ That is all. In episode 211 of the Fox television program "Prison Break", there was a sequence of events whose terrible writing defied all rational thought. After being clonked over the head by a friend in the previous episode, retired correcitonal officer Ray Bellick appeared at 27:05 in the episode, being interviewed in the hospital by a police officer. Although it is not explicitly stated in the episode, it is clearly implied that after being knocked out, he was taken directly to the hospital, where he woke up (later on, this information will prove to be moot). When the police officer leaves, Bellick phones his friend and leaves a threatening message on his answering machine. The friend is still alive at this point. Minutes later, the friend is somehow beaten to death by a spindly child molester suffering from massive blood loss and shock. Some time later, at 37:25 in the show, Bellick is checking out of the hospital just as the corpse of his friend is being wheeled in. Over the next two episodes, Bellick will be thrown in jail for this crime despite the fact that an entire hospital full of witnesses can testify to the fact that there's no way he could possibly have murdered his friend. I can't remember the last time I saw something that terribly scripted. And I watched every episode of Reunion. So there's a series of commercials about how having a bad guardian angel will nearly get you killed, but even the worst guardian Angel will make sure to tell you to pay for your purchases through the magic of credit cardology. It's not the message I'm opposed to, so much as the fact that the different commercials depict different hapless accident-prone consumers, but always the same slovenly, incompetent angel. This suggests one of two possibilities: 1 - that people don't each have a guardian angel, but rather have to share one with other people; or B - that the guardian angel is so useless that he's letting his charges get killed. I don't know which possibility I find more upsetting. The best part of mystery novels is when the detective goes to meet with a crime boss, asks questions, doesn't get answers, and then leaves, rendering the whole thing a little anticlimactic. Sure, we know that later on he's going to come back and nail the crime boss for something, as does the detective. But the crime boss doesn't know that, which makes the whole thing additionally delicious. After watching Armed and Dangerous, I have resolved to rent The Man, if only to support the burgenoning film career of one 'Eugene Levy'. I will not, however, rent American Pie Presents Band Camp. While I understand that it's interesting how you can use math to solve crimes, I can't help but think that it's far less interesting than using Tae Kwon Do to solve crimes. I am very happy to have had the opportunity to use the word raucous. And just now I realize that the word ruckus is derived from it. Apparently a gel now exists that can be applied to human skin and lit on fire without transferring heat to the flesh beneath. Now my plans to streak a basketball game while on fire can be upgraded from 'suicide method' to 'raucous saturday evening activity'. I am now updating my livejournal. I find myself filled with anger after discovering that someone beat me to the username 'Evilmask'. Seriously, who is the real evil mask here? Okay, probably not me, but still, it definitely isn't that guy. Or girl. I'm not really clear what it is yet. Perhaps some sort of 'contact' will be in order. That was not a euphemism for murder. |
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